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Can you dig it?

So what if he tried to rape that chick in the park? Ajax was still the coolest of The Warriors.

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Excuse Me While I Geek Out

They’ve been doing a lot (A LOT) of shooting for The Dark Knight Rises lately and footage of shooting keeps getting leaked. Here’s a look at the new Batwing shot in the streets of Pittsburgh.

 

 

 

Haven’t been this excited for a movie in a while.

Categories: Film

R.E.M. Said it Best

Since I was a kid I’ve been fascinated with end of the world scenarios. It’s been a fear of mine for as long as I can remember and if you think that’s stupid, I’m told it’s completely rational. I don’t know how it will go down. Anybody’s guess is as good as mine. However I do know it WILL go down.

My fear isn’t to die from a nuke going off in my back yard. I know what you’re thinking “Jacob, isn’t all the death the worst part of the coming apocalypse?” and my answer is “No, my friend. No it is not.” My fear is surviving in the wasteland because the unprepared end up as one of two things: food or sex slaves. And let’s just say I don’t have enough meat on my bones to feed many.

 

Option A

 

Option B (And being that I'm not buff like this dude, I'll look even more rediculous in the metal-studded undies.)

 

So get prepared now unless you want to wind up as dinner for a gay leather-clad motorcycle gang or the girlfriend of their Lord Humongous. Once again I know what you’re thinking, “Jacob, what’s with all the homophia?” and my reply is “Don’t judge me! They’re the ones who named their gang of eccentric marauders the gayboys.” And don’t get me started on Wez and his lover, The Golden Youth whose love was tragically cut short by Feral Boy’s boomerang of death.

Poor Golden Youth. We hardly knew you.

If you’re completely lost right now, go watch Mad Max 1 and 2. Feel free to pass on the third though. It’s pretty terrible. If you really want to know how bad the post-apoc wasteland is, wait until you finally realize the most stand-up guy is Mel Gibson.

Categories: Film, Humor

Bond, James Bond: Dr. No (1962)

When I was in elementary school, my friend Tye and I started an awesome spy club. His mom made official Tye and Jacob’s Spy Club stickers. Complete with a revolver and a magnifying glass as our official logo. Club activities included saying we were in a club and being scared of video games like Resident Evil. The spy club was very exclusive. So exclusive the only members were the two of us. I’m not exactly sure why we started the club but I do know James Bond was a major influence. I also think Austin Powers had a role in it.

The reason I’m talking about this is because I started watching all of the old Bond movies. First up is Dr. No from 1962 starring Sean Connery and instantly when the movie starts the first thing you’ll notice is how Sean Connery looks. I mean, I never realized how old this guy was until I saw him in a movie from 1962.

This mofo is old.

The next thing I noticed was that the intro/credits to the movie weren’t as long as I expected and this was in the 60s when they ran all the credits at the beginning. This changes by the later Bond movies. You know what I’m talking about. When the first 5 minutes of the movie Bond does something cool and the next 12-15 you’re watching credits on some half-naked babe’s body projected by the old overhead machines your math teacher would do problems on when you were in junior high.

Anyway, I’m not going to go into great detail because frankly, I’m not really sure what the hell was going on. It’s not that the plot was that deep. I just wasn’t that interested. The point is that James Bond is a total badass, makes cheesy one-liners, kills anybody he wants, and bangs anybody he wants. Seriously, in the first movie alone he gets down with three ladies. One of which he is completely aware she is trying to seduce and kill him.

You’re introduced to the antogonist Dr. No but you never really give a crap about him. His whole plan is to hi-jack the Project Mercury space launch with his atomic radio thing. You’re also introduced to SPECTRE, the counter-intelligence group that play a role in later films. It’s also notable that Bond doesn’t have any crazy gadgets to help him out on his mission.

Just stone cold badassery.

 

I don’t want to ramble too much. It’s late and the movie is definitely worth watching.
There’s also 21 other movies to watch and talk about.

Categories: Film